So there is a saying that says: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." Never truer words were ever spoken. Today I found myself thinking about first impressions and what impression do I give off. In the last 27 years how have I presented myself to the outside world? To friends, to strangers, to colleagues. Am I annoying? Funny? Memorable or forgettable?....oh c'mon on now!!! Ya'll know that I am many things...but forgettable is not one of them!!! LOL....:)
I can tell in the first minute of meeting someone if I am going to like them or not....What they say, how they say it and the vibe they put out is all apparent and I think I am a pretty perceptive person. I find that alot of people are fronting....alot....putting on airs and pretending that they are someone or something they are not.....even worse...they underestimate who I am and that I see right through them.
I met some of my new students today....the first thing one cocky young man said to me was, "So what are you gonna do for this community?" No hi, no how are you and welcome to Charlotte...no, he wanted to know what I was gonna do for him. Clearly pumped up on too much testosterone and his own ego....i replied, "Well, I've see your chapters' grade report and i'm not impressed, so I guess the first thing I'm gonna do is ask you to step your game up....that shut him up and he got the message....I'm not the one to be messed with.... His first impression of me: She's not playing.
I try to come off as a funny and outgoing person all the time. I think it's the real me....but maybe it is the real me that I put on for the world. I want the impression that people get of me to be wow....I like her! She's full of energy!...it's really draining.... I'm not sure why I want that since at home I am devoid of energy and kinda quite....my closest friends and family know that to be very true. I only hit people with the I'm not playing when I fell like I have establish my authority....mainly with my students so they behave and ignorant adults so they stay out of my face....you get the point. It's weird....when I'm not the high energy girl....people think something is wrong....it makes them uncomfortable....
I wonder...how do people really see me and what is their first impression...hey... some of you who know me...what was your first impression...mom, don't answer!!! you gave birth to me....my hope is that your impression was she's soooo cute :) but to the rest of you.....is it different than what I think I put out?
There is this concept called Johari's Window:
In layman's terms the window kinda shows your four areas of what you communicate to others and yourself. Top left window is what you show to the world and what the world sees, top right others see but you don't, lower left is you fronting!!! Known to you but not known to the world and bottom right is unknown to you and them....you see how impressions play into this....read up on it....google it....or better yet got to the library and take out a book......:)
I can dig this model because I wonder what my blind spot is...I kinda know what my facade is....I say I'm happy when I'm not....but what is my unknown....is that the inner, inner me??? Hummmm....food for thought.
The first impression of customer service is major too....like restaurants or brands or services. I was in my apartment complex the other day and I was trying to talk to the rep about my lease and randomly her son walks in....i guess they all live in the complex.....but he totally interrupts our conversation and even though his mother kept telling him that she was working...he kept talking....about some girl and if his mother saw her...get a life!!....and this guy was over 25 years old!!!! So in my head he will always be the inappropriate and immature adult....see how that first impression just sticks? Because of first impressions I will never buy a Sansa Mp3 player again, I won't eat green olives, and I will try to stay out of my complex office....LOL
So I'm planning on meeting this new guy this weekend on a date....yea, I will keep ya'll posted....i'm trying to make a good impression...i don't want to front or be untrue..sight unseen we have had really good conversations....so the first impression has been made already right?....i'm gonna just be me and I hope that is good enough....i guess it doesn't matter if it is good enough for him...being true to me is the only impression I need to make...:)
Get at me....
4 comments:
how bout this for a first impression: you go to a restaraunt to eat, sit down, and the waiter asks you what you'd like to eat instead of giving you a menu and not letting you decide for yourself?
i am impressed that you can be so introspective and be honest about what you see. this makes me want to do my own inner search.
we are often different in public than in private. i believe strongly we should not put on a facade for our close friends or trusted family menbers. a facade for someone we are dating is a recipe for disaster. let us be ourself on day one if we are serious about getting a life partner.
my first impression when you were born was "she is sooooo cute "
now when i see you , my impression is " she is not going thru life unconscious like many women do, she is aware of her issues and is working on them at her own pace, slowly but surely"
I'm most interested in the "blind spot" box--the area not know to self, but known by others. This seems to me to be a key of self-discovery, as your blind spot is a reflection of what you put out unconsciously. It highlights your deepest desires, biases, fears, and aspirations. It can also show you where your actions and words are not aligned with what you purport is in your heart. That being said, my guess is that most people react negatively when people try to show them what their blind spot is signaling about them; either shooting the messenger, or trying to rationalize it away. What is your reaction when somebody tells you about your blind spot?
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