Lord!!! Take me!!! Not my CPU!!!

There is a short list of material things I cannot live without: Peanut Butter, my Blackberry, my car, and probably the most important....my COMPUTER. Next to my car it is the most expensive thing I own and I literally use it everyday. I could go days without talking to a single live person....but as long as I have my laptop....my sweet SONY VIAO....i feel connected to the world. It is a primary source of communication thanks to IM, Facebook and Myspace....it holds memories suspended in time through pictures....11.3GB worth (for those of you who are not computer savvy.....that is over 7,000 pictures). It holds my music collection....even though it is not as extensive as others it holds the tunes that make me smile, make me cry, take be back in the day and makes me workout harder. It holds every powerpoint, presentation, and important document that I have ever written and executed. My laptop has been my constant companion through singledom and the "joys"of Internet dating. She is my TV Guide and my cookbook. My instant driving direction guide and virtual shopping mall. Affectionately know as SUPAH SONY, she is like my security blanket and child all wrapped into one.

So imagine my horror, when this afternoon....she malfunctioned...hard. I scooped her up in my arms...cradled her....asked her gently what was wrong and to show me where is hurt so I could make it feel better....and to no avail....I had to rush her to the hospital....also known as Best Buy.

With service plan in hand I walked right up to the Geek Squad counter and the first thing out of my mouth was, "Fix her...NOW!" The service guy looked at me, unamused and took me through a series of questions...poked and prodded my machine and $222.10 later....he told me she had several viruses, trojans, and spyware creeping around the hard drive. UGGGGGHHH!!!! When did my computer become such a whore!! and let all these CTD's (Computer Transmitted Diseases) infiltrate her temple!!! Then the service rep...David is his name....told me that it would take 2-3 days to fix. WHAT??!!!! WHAT??!!! When I tell you panic set in, I kid you not! What was I gonna do without my computer for 3 days? How was I gonna talk to people, send email, amuse myself when I became bored?? All I could think about was my empty apartment and me staring at the wall (probably begging it to talk to me...again....:)
Then I snapped out of it...because I remembered...I have a backup laptop at home....OH JOY!

But let's take a step back....my panic was real. I think I even broke a sweat....why? The answer is easy, I have become completely and totally dependent on technology. I feel lost without it. It is so ingrained in my daily life I don't know how to unplug. Between the blackberry, laptop and TV I am so plugged in and information is always but mere keystrokes away. Wow....how did I get here? What did I do before all these gadgets?

I used to read more. I would inhale books in days if not hours. Not how to books...books about fantasy and adventure. I would feed my mind and at one point I wanted to write children's books. I used to LOVE horror/scary novels. Dean Koontz and Stephen King were my faves. I would read every night before I went to bed, in the bathroom, on the floor...wherever. I miss books...i miss reading.

I used to be less regimented. My days and nights live by a constant schedule and around must see TV shows. I race home from the gym to shower so I can be in front of the TV for Grey's Anatomy or Law and Order or So You Think You Can Dance. I check my blackberry constantly throughout the day so it can tell me where I am supposed to be or what email needs a reply right now. I remember a Michelle that used to just go with the flow and if she couldn't make it to the TV on time she would just set her VCR and watch the show....later. I miss the flexibility of my time.

I used to interact with people face to face. Have real conversations with real friends about real things. Now I have stunted conversations over text messages, emails, and IM chats. It's hard to read emotions and feelings through a screen....sometimes you just have to be there to read the body language, to hear the inflection in tone of voice and the movement of the facial features. I think all of us have fallen victim to this. I see it in my students....they can't carry a conversation at all....it's sad. They don't practice the art of REAL conversation and when they have to do it....they fall flat...I even know some adults like that. Think about it....when was the last real deep conversation you had....face to face? I miss human contact.

Sometimes I think about what we all did before technology took over our lives? What did people do before the microwave? Did they use the oven and stove? How did people do their jobs with out email? Were there more faxes? How did we pay our bills? Did we actually send stuff via the mail....with a stamp? Are we better for technology? or has it just made us lazy and dependent? I hate to say it but I think it's the latter. Even as I write this blog from the backup laptop....i'm going to make a conscience decision to unplug while my other laptop is being fixed. I'm gonna turn off the IM, put the phone on silent, turn off the TV and find a book that I've been meaning to read and actually finish it. I might go out....find a place where there are other people....and talk to them....imagine that. Wish me luck....I would say that I will keep you posted....but maybe we should meet up and talk instead :)

Get at me...