Summer of Love

So why is everyone around me in love? What's up with that? I got people in my circle getting engaged, getting married, staying married. I got old foes finding love and setting up wedding websites sharing their bliss far and wide for the world to see. I got young bucks who where just blowing up my phone settlin' down....really?...yea....really! Am I hatin? Hell yes!!! Let me complain for just one minute....I have NEVER had a true Valentine. I have not said the words I LOVE YOU nor has anyone EVER said them to me...you know...in "that" way...in fact if someone said them to me I would probably say something like, "Who me?? Nah you mean the Michelle over there."
No friends! what I have had is disappointments, failures, and front row seats to people doing the Mexican hat dance on on my heart......that felt really good :( ......Jerk....you know who you are.....

But here is my bridge to help me get over it. This summer....this very hot and fresh summer, as I crawl through the 17 days that lead up to my 27th birthday.....this summer friends will be the SUMMER of LOVE!!!! No, no...not looking for some boo or some guy to keep my bed warm....nope! This summer I'm gonna fall in LOVE with ME!!!! All of me!!! All 243lbs....yea I said it..that was hard....i don't look it (thank god)...BUT...that's how much I weigh....u surprised? Believe it or not that's what my body is doing...according to the scale. So how do I fall in love with my body. Well everyday i'm gonna look at it...naked....tell it nice things like, "Your're not perfect, and the little belly fat thing is not cute...but you have killer shoulders and I love what you've done with your calves." I'm gonna workout....like I always do....but push just a little more. Today in the gym I stepped up the incline, speed and time of running on the treadmill. It's not about being a size 2....it's about loving a healthy body. And it's working....I went shopping last week in a store that I had not brought clothes in for a really long time....we're talking like years....and I brought a lot of clothes....that fit....imagine that...That felt really good....I LOVE THAT!

I'm gonna fall in love with my mind...my brilliant, fantastic, powerful mind. Something really challenged me today....there are HATERS in the streets....like SERIOUS HATERS and they are really trying to block my thoughts and words because they know that the TRUTH I speak will expose their inefficiency and ineffectiveness...sad...so sad....so they make up lies....LIES!!!! craziness and these are adults! I got mad and even frustrated.....but then I realized that I was BRILLIANT! and I cannot be stopped...imagine that.....I sat outside, alone, at work....I looked up the serenity prayer on my blackberry...said it....and felt better....:) I'm letting go....people are gonna do what they are gonna do and I can only control me....my mind....my actions. I know that I am talented and everyday I am gonna celebrate that....LOVE that sexy mind....

I'm gonna fall in love with my personality....my humor, my kindness and even the bitchiness. I'm a good person. To know me is to love me and who knows me better than ME??? People like me....I have good friends, I keep it real...I'm not awkward, I can carry a conversation with anyone...or anything....I once spoke to a wall for an entire hour......it had a lot to say...people always leaning on it....fascinating stuff :) I make people laugh but more importantly I make myself laugh. I put others at ease and I brigthten days....I can keep it SUPER real! I am honest and I say what is on my mind....I speak now for fear of not being able to speak later. I challenge and support....I can anger....myself and others....but I am NEVER afraid to see the other perspective. I have my off days...but most of my days are on.....people call on me for advice and reality checks...I'm a good person....my aurora is electric....How fly am I??? So fly.....I LOVE the woman I have become....the good, the great, and the just ok.

I'm gonna fall in love with my SOUL. I'm going to start cutting out the people and the impurities that seek to tarnish my soul....Like you guys who keep blowing up my phone....yea you know who you are....stop calling me.....because you are a reminder of me not loving myself....you are the relics of a soul-less Michelle that fed on your empty calories instead of seeking out substantive nourishment for my soul...and you saw me starving and you took advantage of that...and I let you....sad....:( I don't blame you...I blame me, but now that I know better, I GOTTA DO BETTER!...so stop calling, texting, and IMing me...Thanks! I will seek out only things that make me feel good in the long term....not in the immediate present. I want to have conversations that tickle my spirit and stimulate my core. I want to meet new people that have a zest for life and inspire me to be better..... I know that in loving my soul....that is the only way I can REALLY...and HOLISTICALLY LOVE ME.....chew on that.

So let the SUMMER of LOVE begin!!! YAY!!! LOVE is in the air.....the LOVERS of SELF!!! this is our time...you don't have to bring a partner....just come with me....are you ready to LOVE you???

Get at me....