Saturday, May 1, 2010

Let's build a bridge....

Yes it has been a long time since I last posted....but ya'll know me! I gotta be inspired and have the urge to put fingers to laptop and craft an insightful and honest here goes....ya'll have been patient and you deserve this...
I have been in a closest friends, some of my students, anyone who really knows me knows that i have not been myself for some time now...Why? Well ya'll know....2009 SUCKED!!! IT FUCKING SUCKED SOOOO BAD!! For many reasons....we need not go into them....ya'll know what it is what I know to be true....have enough craziness and drama happen to you and you will lose your mind....your mind will take over the ship and you are purely the vessel that carries around whatever you mind puts brain? yea it retreated to a dark, moody, and very grey place....where it wanted to be alone and think...process the events of past and figure out how to get back moving towards the future.
So with the help of some legal and doctor prescibed meds, some soul searching, and some self reflection....I'M BACK!!!! Oh yes...I have built a bridge and i'm getting over it....are you hyped for me or what!!! HOLLA!! So what happened? Here are the top 5 realities of late....

1. You either laugh or you cry....i'm tired of crying
I cried alot last year and you come to a point where it just gets funny....i look back at all the drama and it cracks me up! Yo my AD embezzled!!! LOL!!! My ex was a HUGE liar and i fell for it! LMAO! I thought I was losing my mind....hahahahahahah! Laughter cures all that ills you and it has proven to be the best medicine.....when you find the humor in the bad...the sliver lining in the cloud of doubt, there really is no turning back....besides, ya'll know I want to be a stand up comedienne one day...this is gonna make for GOOD material!!!

2. I forgave myself
When stuff happens, it's not always your fault and even if you blame yourself....eventually you will have to forgive yourself too....I am FLY dammit!!! and I did nothing wrong....You can not control what other people do and you can only control when i look back....i always had my integrity intact....i always chose right over wrong and if it was in my power I put others first....everytime...I forgave myself for blaming myself in the the first place. I am reminded of the serenity prayer (currently considering getting it tattooed to my body):

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Yes my friends...forgiveness brings serenity and in that serenity you begin to forgive others....Here is a message to those who have transgressed against me: I have not forgiven you completely....but I don't have the urge to do physical harm to you we are making progress....take that for what it's worth :)

3. I have re-built
You gotta take control of the things that are within your control....I would like to think that i repositioned and re-set a course for my office at work....We had a good year despite the turmoil the was put in our way....i think I lead the Fraternity and Sorority community in a positive direction and it can only get better from here! I have hired new staff, invested in our councils, and re branded and marketed what it means to be Greek at UNC Charlotte.....yes I am patting myself on my back....Job well done Michelle! and kudos to the students who trusted in me enough to follow me! When life throws you lemons....make grape juice...then sit back and watch people try to figure out how you did it :).

I did some things at home that i didn't think I could do: I hung blinds in my windows by myself, I got my deck sealed, I trained Pascal to walk off his leash and not run away from me, I began power walking again, ate better, cooked more, steadily paid off the credit card, and fed my soul with my own concoction that is sure to nourish : small pinch of church, lots of dog, plenty of sleep, re-connected with friends, and yes my friends....there were some shopping sprees (this message is brought to you by the following vendors: COACH, SONY, IPOD, and OLD NAVY)

4. I'm going on VACATION!
For the first time in almost 5 years I am taking a real vacation! OH YEAH!!! It was like a sign from passport expires in AUGUST....God wants me to use it and leave the country!!! So shout outs to my buddy Ted Lewis for being my partner in crime and travel buddy....24 days and counting to our very expensive all-inclusive vacation to the GR Solaris in Cancun! I will work on my tan....drink drinks with little umbrellas, feast on buffets, and listen to the waves crash on the sandy beaches of feel me??? My brown complexion is in dire need of the sun's rays that can only be found in the Tropic of Cancer....let the bronzing, relaxing, and the wearing of sunglasses and linen pants begin!

This is a picture from the last time i was in has been too long.....

5. Don't talk about about it
I kept telling people that I missed the girl I used to be.....but instead of missing her I just committed to being her again....Now I am just a wiser, lighter (LOL), and more aware version of her....and damn she's a good time!!! When I am the person I want to be, the person I know I am...with no compromises....I am content....Love me or hate will respect me....but more importantly I LOVE and RESPECT myself....imagine that!

Thanks for not abandoning me blog followers....i will try not to leave you for this long again...but I have made that promise before so.....yea....just hope that i stay inspired :)

Get at me...