Motivation

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The alarm rang this morning at 6:00am. I just laid there.... like broccoli ...until 6:45am. I couldn't get up. More importantly I couldn't find the right motivation to get up. Finally, it was the thought of honey nut cheerios and organic soy milk in a freshly cleaned mouth that inspired me to toss the cover aside and get my sleepy butt in the shower....cheerios....honey nut....morning motivation.....this must be the fat girl in me talking :)

But really, what motivates us. Is is money, is men/women, is it greed? What moves us to wake in the morning....do whatever we do from 9-5 and get up and do it all again the next day? What motivates Hilliary Clinton to drag out this democratic party nomination? I heard her on the Today Show this morning....something about having the popular vote...is she running on motivation or dissolution? For some of us, something big has to happen or break for us to be motivated.

I spoke in an earlier blog that i really liked my old job. But not all was well...there were some things that were less than fun and quite frankly getting draining to deal with....looking back on it I guess it was those things that motivated me to get my current position. I wanted bigger, better and I knew I deserved it. I wanted to be able to speak freely and have people around me understand....not defend...understand, take in, and change for the better of the team. I wanted to get to the next career level and challenge, what I am told are great skills, even more. I wanted to supervise staff and share the workload. I wanted to be re-inspired and not stagnated....I wanted to formulate and achieve new goals.....Career goals can motivate.

Growing up in my house as a child was hard...father was crazy and was a pretty big downer, so I was really motivated to get the hell out of my house and go AWAY for college....knowing that he would NEVER visit....He's still messed up and I think he lives in his own world of insanity....i feel bad for him and he scares me. Not in the I'm gonna kill you scary way....no, in the I'm toxic and will make you sick kind of way.....I don't want to end up like him and knowing that we share some DNA i look for glimpses of him in me and I work to eliminate them...crazy people are motivating

I was a Parks and Recreational Administration major as an undergrad (yea, yea....get the laughs out now...ha ha ha....hey it was EASY!!!) By senior year I kinda knew that i didn't like the outdoors so I needed a Plan B for life....going home and laying on my my mom's couch was not an option....so out of necessity came motivation....go to Grad school...and find some purpose.....little did I know I would find myself in a field that basically motivates young college minds to be bigger and better.....Finding purpose and inspiring others to do the same....motivating!

I don't like to work out.....at all...I don't like to sweat, i don't like getting my dred locks all soft and rough looking, i don't like the jiggling feeling the "xtra" parts of my body creates when I run, I don't like the pain in my left knee from a pre-existing injury....again..... I don't like to work out....but I do it....close to 3-5 days a week....Why? Cause i think I am fat....and hence my motivator for going to the gym. I want it to be all about good health and living well....but no....it's fat and not wanting to be fat is a huge motivator to get me in the gym....I'm afraid I am bigger than I am and because I'm funny and have a cool personality no one tells me....so I tell myself that i'm round and I need to hit the gym hard. I know it sounds harsh and you are probably thinking that I have body image issues.....well it is harsh and I do have body image issues....knowing is half the battle!! (GI JOE!)....but hey...what female growing up in today's society doesn't? Fat and the fear of....motivating...

In the fall of 2000 I did some things that were REALLY questionable....for 9weeks, 5days and 1hour and 15minutes I lost who I was and I let people do things to me mentally, physically, and emotionally so I could become a member of one of the GREATEST organizations in the world....I lost myself and it is a time in my life that I can not change and it really set the course of my future. Some call it pledging and some call it hazing....some parts were right...some were wrong....some were very wrong...but...three little greek letters from the Greek alphabet motivated me to take pain and some really insane acts and swallow it.....so one day I could be proud and worthy enough to wear those letters. The experience propelled me into my profession today....maybe this is my vindication....righting a wrong.....hummmm....vindication is a motivator.

I have a couple of side hustles jobs.....I work for a company that sends me around the country to do workshops and facilitation work for college students. I've been to Wyoming, Alabama, NJ, and a whole bunch of places. Students everywhere are different but they struggle with the same issues: How to live and act with integrity, how to grow up, how to leave a legacy. I am blessed with a gift to shine a flashlight in the right direction for them.....the rest is up to the student. Maybe it's because I speak their language or I use humor or my in your face attitude. Maybe it's the time I take to check in one on one or check on from far away...i think i just get it and I remember being them.....so I do my best to push and inspire..I once got a thank you card from a student. He said in the card, " I want more out of life and I see things differently because of you..."..it's a good feeling. Being motivated to motivate others...

Motivation can come from a dark place, a good place, out of joy or out of pain.....wherever is comes from it pushes...it is a mental drug that pushes us and some times propels us to change....sometimes we don't even know where it comes from....but we wake up different, knowing that something BIG just or is about to happened.

Get at me....