Ok....here is one of probably many man blogs I will write. Let's just get the stats out there: I'm single, been single for 10 years (it's starting to become my cross to bear....LOL), there have been guys....but alas, no Boyfriend.
So here is my latest angst. Yesterday, my car failed inspection....:( Needless to say I was shocked! I take Cindy Lou Civic in for regular check ups, i try to take care of her, but she failed. My confusion lies in the fact that a week before I moved to the lovely state of North Carolina, I had a car check up in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Car was fine. All was well. The men at the Honda Dealership took 2 hours and returned her back to me saying everything was just fine. So how do I fail a week later. I can't help the feeling of being had....by the man!!! I feel like i don't speak the native tongue of testosterone and they know it. I'm sure there are some feminist out there who are probably saying, "C'mon Michelle! You are setting us back 100 years!!! Women should learn about cars. lawn care, beers, and other manly things!!! So we don't ever need to rely on them for anything!" Well that sounds just SUPAH in theory, but guess what! I don't know any of that stuff (well I know the beer stuff..lol) and if a man was equipped with this knowledge, I would happily let him handle these areas. Not that roles can't be reversed, or I am unwilling to learn....I just know that men speak the language of men and sometimes we women get had cause we don't know the code. Besides, who doesn't like having things taken care of?
This is not the first time this happened to me. I once got aftermarket brakes put on my car and had to get them re-replaced, my transmission broke or whatever the transmission does and the car place had my car for over 2 weeks to fix it...that was painful and expensive. In these instances I can't shake the feeling that I was taken for a ride. That in some back office they were talking about the little black girl that needs something fixed....how can we squeeze money out of her and make her wait a really long time. I know that sounds mean....but hey I feel it.
I've had to do some heavy lifting...again, not that I am incapable, but I think of all the times I have had to rent/bribe/beg a guy in my life to help me move, lift, transport, or build something. I don't like feeling helpless and I really don't like asking the males in my life for use of their physical strength....but this is what it has come to. Just once, it would be nice to not have to rent....I kinda want to own :)
A boyfriend (or shall I say man-friend cause boyfriend sounds sooooo young and high school) in my life wouldn't be some permanent handyman or mechanic....but rather someone who speaks the man language in the outside world that can make sure WE aren't being had. Someone who can help move, lift, transport or build OUR stuff..not cause he has to or because I asked...but because he wants to and it's for the benefit of us. I can help!....i'll even bake cookies :) I guess what I am really trying to say, is that I am tired of walking through life alone, without a partner, with out a Y chromosome. As fly as I am...:).....there are things I just can not do. Skills, I do not have....isn't that the point of relationships? To balance each other? To be the yin to ones yang? I am what he isn't and he is what I am not? I am off balance and I am sans yin. Sometimes it's cool. Like when I want to be alone, or I don't feel like taking a shower.....but sometimes....alot of times..... it's lonely and even a little scary. I say this alot, "What's the point of having success in your life if you have no one to share it with?"
Some of you are probably thinking..."Michelle, surely there have been men in your life...you have spoken about them! Where are they?" Well let's look at the last couple. Guy #1....fabulous lover (man I miss him!) but had no desire to be in a real relationship with me. Guy #2....he was married....nuff said! Guy #3...mad cool and we became really good homies. Wasn't really sure if we had chemistry and I'm not sure if the timing was right....but he was mad cool and we had good times together..in a VERY non-sexual kinda of way :) I miss his company. Guy #4, #5, and #6 were all short lived and never got past the random phone calls, Internet conversations, or 1st date. I'm telling you, adventures in dating in 2008 is hard and exhausting.....press on I must right? Can't be single forever....or could I? Maybe I should open my car manual and actually look at it :(
So let me officially say it: I am putting out an ad. Y Chromosome wanted! Must be kind, honest, humorous, respectful, and a gentlemen. Must speak the guy language and be willing to teach me....in case we break up :)
Get at me....
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5 comments:
You've got your yin in check, girlfriend - it's yang you're desiring. being out of balance can be difficult, but I've never known you to not be self-sustaining. I've also never known you to be lacking the strength of character you're attributing only to the male sex. You are a whole person - don't forget.
This move was an amazing opportunity for you to not only advance your career, but to also focus on the aspects of your life that you've been neglecting. So keep doing what you're doing--focusing on self improvement, and taking the time to do the things that you love (outside of work!). In the middle of doing something that brings you genuine joy, your "Y chromosone donor" will be attracted by the energy you're giving off, and he'll walk right into your life.
Your pics look great!
do i see a trend to be involved with men who were not ready for a long term relationship?
are you avoiding the potential serious mate because you are afraid ?
I tried ,it just did not work, type of consolation.
DANG! You've met and been on a date with 6 guys this year!!! You are doing BIG things...TRUST ME! That's no comparison to my ONE! lol. Anyways, I'm a firm believer that things like this will fall in place. This is the one area of life that you can just let happen!!! My sister was JUST like you, she was lonely and sick of being by herself and I told her that one day she'd meet someone. And low and behold she has and they plan on getting married.
Another thing is that you don't want to meet the WRONG person! Someone that not only won't balance you, but will throw your balance completely OFF! That's not a good thing! You're a good peron and I'm sure you'll find someone equally as good!
I will say this, once you ask for it you better believe it's coming....I was the same way three years before I was married and 2.5 before starting a relationship I' still in being my wife. Being single is the best time to focus on you and trust me, from what I've read about you, you have a lot to offer a guy, and if you want to hookup with some friends of mine, all you have to do is say the word. I really am feelin your blog, great posts.
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